today marked my actual return to work. i was lucky to have the workday broken up by a wonderful lunch with Becky Huizer. we took an extra long time, and it didn't hurt that she'd locked Mandy out of the house, so we got to swing by Becky's house to let her in. although it's probably the second time i've seen Mandy in my life, i feel like i already know her because her mother is so good at talking her up.

i discovered today during my time in the office that things weren't quite as organized as i thought while i was gone. it's okay. it just means that i have to really concentrate on it tomorrow which won't be a bad thing. i'm alright with having my mind in another place right now.

Reid had an interview today, and it sounded like it went a little better than some of the other ones he's had. hopefully that's a good sign. it'd be such a load off of my shoulders to know that he'll be employed in the fall. we desperately need a new couch, and a second income definitely won't hurt our chances of obtaining a nice, comfortable sofa. ah.

working means having to go to bed at a decent time which i haven't done in almost two months now because we were driving home from Peoria after seeing Raef all day. it seems like yesterday that we had to say goodbye to him. if i close my eyes, i can feel myself sitting in a chair at his bedside. i can feel the breath leave me as i hear the beeps and alarms in the NICU. it's just so hard to believe that it's over.

getting back to normal life doesn't really seem possible. our definition of normal has changed, but we don't know exactly what's different about it yet.