homecomings aren't always sweet

we got home today around three or three thirty. i stopped keeping track of the time. 

the last 48 hours have been some of the most intense hours of my life. i've had some low lows, and some high highs. i'll give you the long and the short of it...

we went through a day of testing consisting of an MRI, a meeting with a social worker, a pastor, a nurse/midwife, an intense ultrasound, a meeting with a genetic counselor, and a "team meeting."

all of these meetings were planned so well that i'm absolutely amazed at the efficiency of this place. everyone was gentle, kind, comforting, and honest. i didn't feel like i was having the wool pulled over my eyes during the process. it was nice.

the results of my MRI and ultrasound provided the doctors with enough information to come to a conclusion about treatment. the ultimate decision was to not intervene at this point. here's why:

unlike many of these cases, our baby actually  has a good amount of amniotic fluid surrounding it. usually, the fluid is gone or near gone, and the baby either needs intervention, or they tell you that the baby doesn't really have a chance. this precious fluid is keeping our baby alive, and its bladder is obviously emptying a little, just not nearly as much as it should.

our pregnancy is now considered to be high risk. i'll have to have ultrasounds twice weekly to make sure that the level of amniotic fluid remains the same. if it begins to deplete, i'll go back to Cincinnati for some sort of intervention.

while it was shocking to hear that nothing was going to be done to relive this enormous bladder issue, we heard the doctors logic behind their decision and conceded that we were okay with their recommendation. sticking a needle into my belly at this point could compromise the precious amount of amniotic fluid that is there. the risks to the baby and myself are outweighed by the benefits of not intervening at this time.

we will continue to pray for good ultrasounds. we'll continue to pray for a baby that we can hold in our arms in April or May.

i'll have to deliver at OSF in Peoria where they have a neonatal intensive care unit and specialists that can assist the baby when it is born. it'll need extra care in the beginning of its life, but i have faith that it'll survive.

the prayers the three of us have received have truly lifted us up in this time of uncertainty and fear. i know that my life, and that of my child are in God's hands, as they always were. 

it's nice to be home with Reid. we'll have some time tonight to decompress a bit. if it seems like i'm withholding information, it's because i haven't had the time to fully process the events of the last few days. more details will follow.

i feel the need to mention the incredible support we had on our trip. my mom along with Reid's mom and our friend Jon were with us every  moment of this ordeal the last couple of days. our moms did the worrying, comforting, and crying, and Jon provided wonderful support, insight, and the occasional giggle or twenty.