last night, i started to feel a cold coming on. i'll be damned if i don't have a cold. i can't believe it. i've been so careful about washing my hands, and staying away from people who were sick so that i wouldn't have to go one day without seeing my son at the hospital. now, i'm afraid to be there because i don't want to take the chance of getting Raef sick, or anyone else for that matter. i don't really know the NICU's policy on parents with colds, but i can only imagine they'd rather you stayed away.

nevertheless, i went this morning with Wendy, as Reid headed back to school today. i scrubbed in as usual, and put on a mask to try to prevent anyone from getting sick. i attended rounds, and soon after felt like i was really coming down with a cold, so Wendy and i headed back to Bloomington so that i could take a nap, drink lots of fluids and just try to rest as much as possible.

i know i probably shouldn't feel this way, but i feel like i've let Reid (and Raef) down today because i couldn't be there with all day. i can't imagine going back to work right now, so i can only guess how difficult Reid's day was, even if it was nice to get back to school.

i'm so angry right now, i could just scream. i hated leaving so early today. my little guy was looking kind of fussy, and i'd never met his nurse before, and didn't know how i felt about her. plus, she made some comment to me about how Raef would be in the same room for a long time (meaning it'll be a while before he gets moved to a step-down nursery). what nerve. maybe it's true, but i don't want to hear it. i have enough on my plate already.

it's almost time for Reid to get home from school. i'm not sure if he'll still want to go over to Peoria, or if he's feeling sick too, or what we're going to do. my brother, Dan is going to be in town tonight with his fiance, Michelle. i really want to see them both as it's been since Christmas already.

i'm hoping i'll feel better tomorrow or the next day so that i can resume being at Raef's bedside.